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Snooze Your Way To Marketing Success
By Eric Welch | January 6, 2009
Sleep is a funny thing. We spend up to 33% of our lives sleeping. But not all of it is as restful as it should be. There have been numerous documented cases of sleepwalking, sleep-talking, sleep-eating and even sleep-murder! If we could somehow unlock this mysterious and untapped resource—channeling it into our direct marketing efforts—who knows what could happen? Well, for starters you could hire Lee “Kipasso” Hadwin to handle your design work:
Stumbling out of bed into the darkness, the man searches around his room with strange, hypnotic intent. Soon, he finds what he is looking for. Grasping a pencil, he begins sketching furiously on a discarded newspaper. Oblivious to time passing, he hunches over his work for an hour as a beautiful image emerges. But, eerily, the artist seems to be in a trance, as if he is scarcely conscious.
Next, if you can manage to avoid smashing into things as you sleep-drive to the office, you could simply log on to your computer and start zzz-mailing your prospects (be sure and spell-check before you hit “send”). Or you could just stay at home and do a bit of nocturnal telecommuting while unconsciously devouring all those leftover nuclear wings in your fridge… you know, from that [insert favorite sporting event here] party you hosted last week? Wow.
There is another way. A way that lets you get your snooze time back. A direct marketing tool that works while you’re asleep. It’s called AutoMail and it’s brought to you by those helpful and non-sleep-deprived folks at QuantumDigital. Try it! You’ll like it.
‘Nuff said. I’m off to bed.
(Current Energy Drink Score: Full Throttle – 3, Eric – 0.5)